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My journey through infertility, miscarriage, childlessness & spiritual motherhood.
A journey to positivity when all the results are negative.

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I don't know when I fell in love with rainbows. For as long as I can remember I have been fascinated and enamored by the hazy spectrum of every colour stretched across a sky. I grew up in Church, and part of that fondness related to the promise of God it symbolized, which for the longest time was a nice sentiment but hadn't fully trusted for myself. 

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Movement is a natural human desire, it is what we all want in some area. I am not the most active person in the world but even my body screams out to me when I've been still too long (more and more now that I'm over 40!) But more so, our souls crave growth. From childhood on, we long for the next stage in life, to level up in some way or another.

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As I was sitting in a waiting room with my husband yesterday, I was reminded of how powerless we can feel in that room. Back in my early pregnant pause days, being stuck in the waiting room was the worst. It was a lot of time to think about how little control I had, in that moment and in life. 

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